Here Again

Sitting here again
Full of caffeine
Avoiding sleep
Afraid of dreams that fulfill all wishes
Only to wake…

Wake to remember
That things are still the same
And I am still alone
Wishing on stars and candles
But knowing this is how it could always be

As time passes
Things hurt less
I forget to miss you
Until I remember
Just how much I need you

And then tears swell
You should be here
Those moments
That should be special
Are empty without you

I counted my blessings
Knew how much you meant to me
But still I lacked courage
To say those words
“I LOVE YOU”

I've signed things with “love”
But what did you read?
Friendship likely
Crushing maybe
My whole heart completely?

I’d give anything
For a second chance
To tell you all
To hold you one last time
To risk everything

Nothing could be worse
Than this empty feeling
The reminders that you’ve left

The skipping heartbeat
When you walked in the room
Made every day glorious
I don’t know how
I gave you up so easy

I may never know
What could have been
I will never forget
But I wonder if you ever remember.

I wrote this New Year's Day 2010 in the early early hours.  My how things have changed.