"Calendar Company"

At this point, I'm pretty sure no one but myself is aware that this blog exists.  But just in case, here is some nice advertising for my boyfriend and good friends' production company, Out of the Void.  They just posted their first sketch "Calendar Company" and we are excited for it and the future projects they're currently working on.  Facebook likes, Youtube comments, and blog reads would be much appreciated.  Thanks!

The Girl Within

Every morning I put on that brave face.
No one sees the tears 
Hidden barely beneath the surface.
It takes almost nothing for my lips to quiver
And for the cascade of tears to flow,
And still, the world is oblivious.
I used to pray for invisibility.
It seems I did one thing right
No one takes notice...
As my entire universe crumbles around me
No one is aware...
How much longer can I play this part?
Can I make this charade last any longer?
Will I finally let the world see 
The terrified girl within?

And So My World Shatters

Too many uncontrolled moments

No longer am I filled with calm.

Instead rage is taking over

Filling every possible crevice.

I force these feelings aside

But despair takes it's place.

Is this really who I'm becoming?

Didn't I used to be happy?

Sometimes I can barely remember...

Understanding used to be simple

I never tried, I just did.

Now I'm engulfed in worry

Over what I know will eventually come.

Here Again

Sitting here again
Full of caffeine
Avoiding sleep
Afraid of dreams that fulfill all wishes
Only to wake…

Wake to remember
That things are still the same
And I am still alone
Wishing on stars and candles
But knowing this is how it could always be

As time passes
Things hurt less
I forget to miss you
Until I remember
Just how much I need you

And then tears swell
You should be here
Those moments
That should be special
Are empty without you

I counted my blessings
Knew how much you meant to me
But still I lacked courage
To say those words
“I LOVE YOU”

I've signed things with “love”
But what did you read?
Friendship likely
Crushing maybe
My whole heart completely?

I’d give anything
For a second chance
To tell you all
To hold you one last time
To risk everything

Nothing could be worse
Than this empty feeling
The reminders that you’ve left

The skipping heartbeat
When you walked in the room
Made every day glorious
I don’t know how
I gave you up so easy

I may never know
What could have been
I will never forget
But I wonder if you ever remember.

I wrote this New Year's Day 2010 in the early early hours.  My how things have changed.