For Shawn

Love your tiny fingers and tiny toes.

Love to hug and give chase to get a kiss.

Even wiping grossness off of your nose,

I know these are years I will truly miss.

I help you to learn and I watch you grow.

Discoveries, playtime and throwing food.

How I wish each day would suddenly slow,

No matter how cheerful or sour your mood.

Diapers and laundry are all worth the stress.

No privacy in the bathroom and toys

scattered. Sneaking naps while you make a mess.

All of it amazing, my joy of joys.

How I love my Teeny Tiny, my Shawn

Each second, each minute, from dusk til dawn.

Writing Again

I had a shot story idea the other day. It just came out of no where. Been working off and on with it the past week, hoping that it will go somewhere. Once I am done I plan to seek some sort of publication, but if that doesn't happen, then it will get posted here. You know, I am pretty excited about this! -Melly

Emotions

Reading into things
Sometimes I can't help it
Things will never be
The way they once were
The way I want them to be

Everything has changed
Every memory is a pain in my heart
Tears constantly threaten to fall
I am no longer who I want to be
All of me is lost

Over and melodramatic
I know these emotions are over the top
I cannot suppress how I feel
But I don't know how to let it out
Shaking and sobs are not how I want to deal

I am tired of the pain
Had hoped this would ease it
I am less confused
Less worried, But more hallow
And afraid of completely falling

I can never again be who I want to be
You managed to take that from me
My entirety is now labeled
I no longer get to keep secrets
You shattered my entire world

I hope to someday know me again
To feel comfortable in my own skin
How I long to be happy
Not hiding from the world
Are you happy with what you've done?

Untitled

Have I built up these walls so high

That no one sees what's underneath?

Eyes brimming with tears

Continue to go unnoticed

In some ways it's easier

Avoiding a breakdown

But how does no one notice?

Is that glimmer of hope

Still shimmering in my eyes?

Perhaps I really can act

Everything could be okay

If no one asks me

Then no one will ever know

There are so many layers

Covering everything I'm hiding

But I can only stand strong for so long

I’m coming closer to collapse

It's more than I can take

Optimism can only take me so far

Perhaps this is the end

Maybe the world's cruelty

Has finally won.

Untitled

Clearly there is something not right.

Something is missing,

Otherwise, wouldn't I be enough?

Why would you be seeking someone else?

Lying?

Hiding things behind my back?

What other lame excuses have I fallen for?

What else am I missing?

This has been way to easy-

And now I am questioning everything.

I no longer trust anything you do or say.

I can't even say with certainty 

If I am still in love.

I want to be.

But if this has all been a lie...

Where does that leave me?

So There's This Boy...

“So, there’s this boy and he kinda has my heart”

My myspace headline reads.

‘So who’s the boy?’ they all ask.

‘Not you,’ I wish to reply,

‘Why is it you need to know?’

Everyone is asking, unless they think they know,

Then they just sit and smile in smugness,

With a false name resting on their tongues.

Everyone except the boy.

He never asks, never so much as hints.

Does he know?  I think he wishes,

But doesn’t much dare to dream,

That I could be his and he could be mine.

It’s not that I don’t love him,

For nothing could be farther from the truth.

I just know neither of us is quite ready,

And I can’t bear to break his heart.

But for now, everything is safe though slow, and

Since no one knows, there are no rumors spreading ‘round

About the boy who holds my heart

The one who warms my smile.

Give it time and soon the headline may transform;

So, there’s this boy and he finally has my heart.

A New Challenge

My boyfriend has challenged me to write a page a day for a year so that in the end I will have my first novel.  I have no idea where this story is going, but I have just completed page 2 of it.  I'm hoping I can make this goal.  We shall see.